Who knew cursive handwriting could be so creepy?
Robert Durst, the New York real-estate heir who managed to segue his suspected murder involvement into a six-part HBO docu-series, has seemingly sent a handwritten note to Los Angeles Times Houston bureau chief Molly Hennessy-Fiske. The Times clarifies that it actually reached out to Durst first in March. And now that the 71-year-old has some time on his hands—in jail—he is apparently responding to backlogged media requests.
On Thursday, the Times posted the creepy missive, which is part fan letter, part traffic complaint, part jail-date invitation, and part possible attention ploy.
The note was sent from a Louisiana correctional facility and scribbled in what can only be described as “painful, crumpled cursive.” Given the note’s hard-to-read nature—there are no incriminating block letters here!—we thought it best to save you the torture of decoding Durst’s handwriting. Ahead, the strangest lines from the note:
He opens his snail-mail correspondences the same way he began his lie-filled conversations with The Jinx director Robert Jarecki.
“My interests are opera and pro football.”
If you look at the actual letter, Durst added the word “pro” after writing “football,” in the margins, perhaps an important clarification meaning that he is not interested in college football. Update your detective notebooks accordingly.
“Liked L.A. Opera except for Wagner’s ring cycle with the absurd costumes and sloped stage, a true example of Hollywood gone berserk.”
This sentence begins like a Match.com profile and ends like a review of the MTV Movie Awards. Together, the words are so randomly strung together that we would not be surprised to discover that they are actually code for something.
“I loved watching the traffic come up La Cienega and mush into Santa Monica, hated L.A. traffic which makes Houston seem like a small town.”
Durst admitting that he gleaned some pleasure from anything involving Los Angeles traffic (even if succeeded by a contradiction) might be the most concrete evidence we have of Durst’s psychopathic mental state.
“I know that if I was going to let some guy drill into my head, there was no place I would be willing to go ahead other than the Houston Medical Center and I left L.A.”
Let’s take a moment to appreciate this sentence for what it is: A line that no other person on the history of this planet has ever written out in cursive to a complete stranger. (Although we do appreciate him trying to explain why he left L.A., almost apologetically, as if the fact he did not live in the city was an affront to the Los Angeles Times employee.)
“I am sure you know what your abilities are to visit me when I get to L.A., which is if any of this is published, please copy me.”
Is this a passive-aggressive invitation for Hennessy-Fiske to swing by the L.A. jail to which Durst is eventually moved? We also respect that he is diligent about collecting his media clips.
Durst ends by giving his L.A. Times pen pal permission to use this letter in whatever way she deems fit, as long as she clarifies that Durst has “said nothing about charges, crimes, or trials.”
Apparently being held without bail for murder can’t keep the man away from the media spotlight.
By Julie Miller (Vanity Fair)